*Warning: This book review contains several spoilers.

The Impossible Knife of Memory  by  Laurie Halse Anderson, is the story of the war between the haunting memories of the past and the present of a person’s life. Anderson took inspiration from her childhood; her father, a WWII and Vietnam War veteran, suffered from PTSD and alcoholism. The main character is Hayley, a socially-attuned, outsider with a father whose battles remain constantly afresh within his dreams. Anderson vividly depicts memories as a knife cutting swiftly through the characters’ minds in a truthful yet wry image–leaving the world in two. One of the main themes of the novel is willing to accept the memories of the past rather than reliving or repressing them.

Hayley is starting out her high school senior year. She has spent the last five years travelling on the road with her father trying to escape his past. Her father, Andy, has served in the army and suffers from PTSD, so most times Hayley has to act like the adult. For Hayley’s senior year, she and Andy reside in the town her late grandmother had lived. There, she must attend high school, a place where ‘zombification’ is a social epidemic that is at an all-time high. She meets melodramatics, absurd teachers and a ragtag group of teenagers to blend in to.  Anderson does not sugarcoat the teenage life through the eyes of Hayley; broken families, unhealthy romances and addiction all hide behind the cool façade of her school.

the color blue comes to symbolize both life and death within the novel. Anderson’s characters are shadowed in death and despair. The quarry, a place where lost souls come to end their lives, and where eventually Hayley’s father tries to, is a dark blue. While the color of Hayley’s eyes and hair are both blue, a symbol that comes to symbolize endurement  and life. She is often referred to as ‘Miss Blue’. Memories are also a recurring motif throughout the novel. Hayley lives in the after of traumatic memories, she lives day to day repressing the memories. Her father, however, lives in the past memories, constantly haunted with the ghosts of his nightmares.

In the end, Hayley and Andy must live through and hopefully past their memories.  Andy, after his suicide attempt, receives help from the Veterans Affairs.  The process of healing from his long-bleeding wounds is a day to day progression. Hayley decides to look towards a brighter future and apply for college. Anderson leaves the novel open-ended. The characters still are left not fully healed. This is apparent throughout all of her novels. Anderson beautifully expresses saving oneself as  ‘small steps upwards’, and, “Until then we are going to keep making memories like this…and when we get scared or lonely or confused we’ll pull out these memories and wrap them around us and they’ll make us feel safe. And strong.”